This website would be so funny in the death note universe I think some of you guys would be really pro Kira
Imagining discourse where some people are reminding you not to put your name and face on your blog to stay safe and then other people call you toxic and abusive for that bc it means you’re hiding something if you don’t want Kira to be able to kill you
I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!!Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!
Happy one year anniversary to the video that gave us this improvised gem.
Happy 2nd anniversary to Eggman pissing on the moon
Happy 3rd anniversary to Eggman pissing on the moon
“McDonalds McManagers are more McQualified to diagnose your McIllness and fitness than an actual medical doctor. They decide if you are able to McWork.”
So anyway I’m pretty sure this is INTENSELY illegal? I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure saying you have to get “diagnosed” on your fitness to work by a 50 cent more per hour shift manager isn’t above board.
So last Christmas/holiday period I worked at a gift store as a casual holiday assistant.
The number of times I had blokes come in and attempt to purchase a candle for their wife/so/mother/girlfriend etc for Christmas or birthday.
And they’d like walk up and say ‘I need to buy a candle’
We had at least 25 different candle scents.
Some guys knew what they were after- cause they would take a photo of the candle they already had.
Some had literally no clue.
Some say ‘you just pick a good one’ and we say ‘oh but you know what she likes, we’ll just help you decide’.
So we’d go through the entire process of
“Ok so sweet? Or sort of more not sweet or citrusy?”
Some weren’t sure what the difference was so we’d pull our sweetest possible candle tester (caramel sunset- it’s like sticking your face in a candy store) and our most neutral non sweet candle tester (ocean breeze - it’s a neutral sort of salt and lemongrass scent) and make them smell them.
The sweet one either gets ‘oh YES but maybe not that sweet’ or ‘no. no. She likes. Not that’
Once we make a decision on sweet or not, we then can start pulling candle testers.
We slowly narrow down those categories by smelling various test candles.
Some of these blokes have absolutely zero idea what they’re looking for when they come in, but generally we get some sort of ‘oh yeah, her perfume smells like that’ or ‘the candle we have smells a little like that’ or ‘oh I REALLY LIKE THAT’.
Sometimes we have to go through Every. Single. Candle. To get the one they are after.
During Christmas I did this probably 4-5 times a day on average. Sometimes multiple times for the same customer because they had to get a candle for mum and wife and sister and Aunty.
One guy came in on CHRISTMAS EVE about 20min before we closed and said ‘so I need…. Five gifts…. For my mum, for my girlfriend, my sister, my grandma and my girlfriends mum.’
It was….. a long 20 minutes.
It’s lovely to see them get? Not excited, exactly, but sort of enthused that! They! Made! A! Good! Choice! Because they do know their partners. They know the perfume, or what they already have in the house, or what scent she likes. They just weren’t sure how to get to the final option.
Once the candle has been selected, and they purchase it, we offer free gift wrapping.
The look of relief on some of their faces is. Absolutely priceless.
We have like. 40 something different wrapping papers. Sometimes I ask ‘favourite colour?’ And they just look blank, so I pick two nice but different papers so it’s both easy (they’re both pretty!) but they also don’t feel like I did all the choosing for them (then if she comments on it, he can say he picked it).
I live in a small country town, by the way. Some of these fellas are in their dusty work jeans, boots and clearly came in from a long day on the farm because it is Important that they get this gift.
Some seem very awkward about this whole process, some are self deprecating, some are really enthusiastic. Some start super awkward and then get really enthusiastic.
I sold. A LOT of fucking candles this last Christmas. A LOT.
I could smell those fuckers in my sleep.
I’m not making fun of these guys (ok I am just a little) because I appreciate that they a) know that their wife would like a candle, b) are prepared to smell 25 different candles to find the one they think she would like, rather than just picking one based on the colour of the box, and c) acknowledge that they need a hand selecting one and asked for assistance
My name is Erin. Agender butch and pansexual. They/them pronouns. Feel free to call me queer. If you want to know anything like my Steam name send me an ask. Social Justice Nightblade.
Check out my Let's Play channel @laruna-softpaw
